My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
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