Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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