Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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