Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize