FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
