He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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