i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
