shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
