hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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