Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
