I want you more than these girls want KFC
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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