I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
