I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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