Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
