my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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