Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
