Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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