just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
