Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
