Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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