What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
