Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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