I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
