This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
