he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
