i don't like sucking hair
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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