I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
