some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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