Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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