I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
