are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
