Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
