You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
