Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
