Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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