he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
