my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
