He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
