My nipple is on Facebook.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
