We won't sleep together?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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