i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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