I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
