The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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