i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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