2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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