I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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