I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
