We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize