talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
