The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize