Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize