Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
