STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
