who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize