Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
