"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
