that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
