I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's never too late to be topless.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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