so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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