What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
